"You've got this." "Believe in yourself." "Progress, not perfection." Some people hear that and get moving. Other people hear that and immediately open a new tab. If you're the second kind, standard motivational content isn't broken, it's just aimed at someone else.
Encouragement assumes you're already trying and just need a boost. Sarcasm assumes you've been putting something off and calls it out directly, which is often closer to the truth. A roast lands because it's specific and a little uncomfortable, and discomfort is a better trigger for action than a gentle affirmation you've heard a hundred times.
"I checked your progress. Fastest meeting of my life." — The Boss
"You've been 'starting Monday' for eleven Mondays." — The Coach
Instead of one generic sarcastic voice, there are seven: a drill sergeant, a corporate boss, a locker-room coach, a guilt-tripping nonna, a mystic fortune teller, a cold, data-driven AI, and a restaurant owner who has heard every excuse a shift can produce. Each one insults you in a different flavor of "get up," and which one shows up is mostly random, so the joke doesn't get stale.
You get exactly one roast a day. Not a feed, not an endless scroll of sarcastic quotes to numb yourself to. One line, once a day, gone until tomorrow. That constraint is what keeps it funny instead of turning into just more content to ignore.